Wednesday, 13 April 2011

I am a moron

Ok here is my account of the Christmas curry incident.

It started Saturday night I am knackered. I spend most of the night sat on the sofa not talking and feeble off to bed without saying anything quite early on.

I wake up on Sunday morning feeling  crappy. A bit bogged down and quite tired. I have a quick look round the house and find no signs of life so I decided to go for a quick walk down the road to see how the crag is looking. It is in prime condition. Cool dry and grippy.
Excited and in my trainers I go to the base of Christmas curry and see that the route is free so I think what the hell and give it ago. At about half height on the first pitch I think it would be a bad idea to do the route in boots that are pretty loose and a bit muddy.
I back down cleaning the foot holds as I do.

I decide to return to the hut. I grabbed a bowl of cereal. and that thing in my brain happens. That feeling that I need to do this route on my own with no witnesses. I grab my pack shove in my climbing shoes the guide and a bottle of water. Georg appears he says hello and I respond not wanting to say the stupid thing am about to do I run out the hut.

I get to the bottom of the route and read the guide so I know where to head. Pulling on my boots I am calm. I turn my ipod on wanting to distract myself from my brain. I stick on the 25 most played on random. There is nothing but the climb!!!!
I climb the first pitch pretty quickly. Its a chimney pitch with very polished bits of rock. On the last move of the pitch right foot slips I am about to fall but I grab a good hold and manage to hold myself in place. I do the move and get to the top of the pitch.

My head goes into over drive (just go back now) so what if you back down after one pitch no one even knows you are doing it. I turn my music up and try and drown out the voices. The second pitch is harder but more of a stile of climbing I like steepish on good holds. Offspring is now on my ipod.

I top out the second pitch at a nice ledge I get the guide book out to work out where the route goes. I text Ben saying I am on Christmas curry soloing it would make a good photo. I then put my phone away and chuck the guidebook back in my pack. I set off up the third pitch a corner crack to flakes to traverse out left. I hate cracks. I set off my foot slips but manage to hold the slip. My heart is racing. I am feeling like I am about to have a panic attack.

I am in my head again. In my head I scream at myself (I can't have a panic attack now I am high above the ground one stupid mistake I am in hospital sort your self out you pathetic loser. Just fucking sort it out. Just get up there no one will cares).
I focus on the music alkaline trio is on. I keep going and get to the flake its a giant jug. I look for foot holds there aren't any. I look and see some smeary edges I carefully place my left foot on the smear then I weight it pressing hard with my foot. I commit to the smear and match on the flake I bring my right foot round and smear hard then work my way round to swap feet on the smear.

I am about very high above the ground holding onto a flake with my feet on smears. I have a straight drop below me. The exposure is amazing. I want to look down but need to focus on the moves. Keep going. I traverse left and climb to a good ledge. I rest at the end of the pitch and look around and soak up the air. I am free I am happy I am almost there. I look towards Eric's and see some bikers. at the cafe getting breakfast.
I have the crag to myself. I am alone. I am happy. The next pitch looks ok but I can't work out the line. Where do I go? I get the guide book out and it says go up the crack on the right. The lack of polish is a bit unnerving. Am I off route?

I set off on the last pitch I traverse up to the right to the crack. The polish is back. I am on a good but angle foot hold I reach up and get a small but good hold I release a small amount of pressure from my right foot. it instant slips from me. My heart shoots into my mouth. Am I falling? No. I manage to keep hold with my left hand then place my right foot on the next hold. Fight with tools (Flobots) starts playing on my ipod. I manage to get in the crack and race to the top.

Am there! I did it!. I get a huge rush of adrenaline. I am excited I am almost running in joy. I sit down and change to my boots and start walking down. I am alone. I am happy.
Deftones Be quiet and drive comes (far away) on the iPod. I start to sing along as I walk down. I am too excited the adrenaline is great I am in Ecstasy.

As I walk down I am not paying attention to the poor muddy path. I almost slip. I keep walking then I take a fall and slid down the steep track for a few metres grabbing a tree. I get back up and focus on the walk down.

I return to the hut Georg asks me where I went. I tell him. He says am crazy. A sleepy Ben appears from the kitchen, I ask "did you get my text?" he yawns "what text?". He grabs his phone and calls me a nutter.

The morning continues and one person asks me why? I can't answer all I say was I could not sleep. I get a frosty response from another this seems to last all day. H asks if anyone saw this. Alex looks a bit pissed off but say "I would be more bothered if he climbed something hard."

I don't tell anyone about the climb other than the route was awesome. The route was a personal experience and could of been my last. I have no remorse at the time.
As in a previous blog the following day I get a message. that made me think. I know it was stupid but being that close to death and coming through was too much to miss.

And yet this is not even the most stupid thing I have done so far this month.

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